The weather here in the ‘burgh has been frigid the past few days – in fact the furnace tried to go on vacation and my kitchen pipes froze. Luckily, we talked the furnace out of leaving and the pipes are slowly thawing. However, when it gets this cold out (-6 with a windchill of -20) I think about the Wisconsin and Minnesota temperature conversion parodies. Both very similar, but they make me chuckle at the cold and feel glad that its only around zero. Although, there are Pittsburgh temperature conversions too, we just cease to exist at -100.
Here is the Wisconsin temperature conversions from www.bhood.com:
60 above
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
Wisconsin people sunbathe.50 above
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Wisconsin people plant gardens.40 above
Italian cars won’t start.
Wisconsin people drive with the windows down.32 above
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan’s water gets thicker.20 above
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Wisconsin people have the last cookout before it gets cold.15 above
New York landlords finally turn on the heat.
Wisconsin people throw on a sweatshirt.Zero
Californians fly away to Mexico.
Wisconsin people lick a flagpole.20 below
People in Miami cease to exist.
Wisconsin people get out their winter coats.40 below
Hollywood disintegrates.
Wisconsin’s Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Wisconsin’s Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes
until it gets cold enough.80 below
Mt. St. Helen’s freezes.
Wisconsin people rent some videos.100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Wisconsin people get frustrated when they can’t thaw the keg.297 below
Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Wisconsin cows complain of farmers with cold hands.460 below
ALL atomic motion stops.
Wisconsin people start saying “Cold ’nuff for ya?”500 below
Hell freezes over.
The Minnesota Vikings win the Super Bowl.
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