Man Rules

5 June 2009 in Manly Things, Nonspecific | No comments

I found this via Girl Robot: Rules 4 Men- My favorites are in bold and I’ve made an additional accompanying list below.

  1. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals.
  2. If a woman asks to open a jar, you must open it with ease, to prove your masculinity.
  3. If it itches, it will be scratched.
  4. When eating a banana, never look another man in the eyes and/or comment on the quality of the banana.
  5. A man will never be afraid of thunderstorms. Ever.
  6. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. To get to his wallet, you have to start a little lower.
  7. If a man is eating nachos and they are all stuck together, it is considered one nacho.
  8. Under no circumstances shall another man sit on your lap.
  9. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.
  10. The only pink things that men can like are lady parts and the inside of a steak.
  11. No man shall ever turn down free beer because “it’s not their brand.”
  12. In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 guys.
  13. If she complains about the toilet seat being up, complain about the toilet seat being down. You need it up.
  14. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat.
  15. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.

Here some that would appear on my list:

  1. Instructions are not meant to be read by men.
  2. Every man will tackle anything that is broken. We are all experts.
  3. Men will try to make things bigger, better and more bad-ass. Always.
  4. Bugs and rodents were not placed here to scare men.
  5. Men will consume real drinks, none of that fruity-hooty shit.
  6. No man shall ever watch a chick-flick without a chick.
  7. When men are grilling at the cookout, it is our manly duty to watch and comment.
  8. Men shall not wear skin-tight clothing unless participating in a sport.
  9. There is a no talking while peeing rule. No Exceptions.

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